Sunday Evening, January 6, 2008

Today was not a usual day here in Southern California. It was raining most of the day and it was actually my birthday. I am lucky to be born on the same day as when we celebrate the arrival of the Three Maji to the side of Jesus in Bethlehem. For years it was called the Epiphany and many cultures celebrate it as Little Christmas.

Since rain happens seldom here, as we live in a literal desert, and my birthday actually happens only once every six or seven years nowadays, it was an unusual day. It was also the first full day my brother Dave spent in hospice.

At 9:30 this morning, Fr. Eugene, a close friend of Dave and the family, celebrated mass for us in the hospice chapel. Nearly every member of my extended family was there and, most important, Dave was also there. The mass and the attendance of so many people was a celebration of Dave, having nothing to do with my birthday.

And, oddly enough, I looked around and saw Dave joining in the prayers and said to myself, there could be no better birthday celebration – surrounded by people who cared about me and about whom I cared. And my birthday didn’t matter.

Because I refuse to get older, maybe I AM becoming more mature. My maternal grandmother used to give us, as a birthday gift, a dollar and a piece of gum. Thankfully, two of my sisters enhanced my birthday with that gift this year also. Most importantly, in the past few days, I’ve been touched by nearly everyone who is special to me.

The other highlight of the last few days was all of the visitors Dave had. Knowing our family, it’s no surprise we were all there. But the parade of friends, friends of friends, extended family, employees, customers, and business associates was very touching.

A close friend of my sister Peggy provided a huge lasagna dinner for all of us and while we were sitting around eating, we all made the comment that everyone who visited, caused a HUGE smile to come across Dave’s face when they came into the room.

For example, Mike Schneider, a friend in the RV business that Dave and I have known for years, came in when I had stepped out. He walked into the building and my sisters Mary and Sue noticed his shirt had the Go RVing logo on it. They figured, from his lost look, that he might need help.

He said he was looking for Dave, and Dave’s face beamed when he walked in and said hello. Someone asked where he was from, and he replied he was from Ventura. They asked if he had a dealership out there and Mike just answered that he was in advertising.

I’m not one to blow anyone’s cover but Mike Schneider is President of the Affinity Group. The Affinity Group publishes huge RV Magazines such as Trailer Life and Motorhome along with about 41 other titles, owns the Good Sam Club, a nationwide organization of over 1 million RVers, and many more ventures.

Mike’s humility and character are beyond words and Dave made a special point to make sure I knew that. I did know that.

For years Dave has seen himself as somewhat of a wine connoisseur. He actually knows a lot – even more than my knowledge that if you order a red wine, they always forget somehow to make sure it’s cold.

Back to the subject, someone had the bright idea to give him a bit of wine with his dinner. We now know how to make him happy again at meal time. I think I read somewhere, in a movie magazine or something, that a little booze with pain killers will put a smile on anyone’s face.

When I left tonight, Dave wished me Happy Birthday. I told him that the longer he hung around, me being the “cross he has to bear” and all, that I think he got about 35 years credit in purgatory for every hour spent with me. Those of you with long-standing Catholic teaching know of what I’m speaking. He laughed, I held his hand, and I said good night.

Yes, I think this is the best birthday I’ve ever had. Thank you Dave!


p.s. Good Lord this posting is long. I'm sorry.